The official ranking of Difficult Things places “saying no” somewhere between “climbing a mountain” and “spotting a UFO in broad daylight.”

Since life mainly consists of those more challenging moments, it might be a good idea to learn how to deal with them effectively. Let’s take a look at how to say “no” in a way which will not make others hate you.

Check out: Say No Without Burning Bridges

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Glossary

• counterpart  – a person or thing that corresponds to or has the same function as another person or thing in a different place or situation
• pushovers  – a person who is easy to overcome or influence
• embarrassed  – a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness
• apologetic – expressing or showing regretful acknowledgement of an offence or failure
• disingenuous – not candid or sincere, typically by pretending that one knows less about something than one really does
• tentative – not certain or fixed; provisional
• demeanor – outward behaviour or bearing
• distort  – pull or twist out of shape

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Think about it

Answer the questions below.

• Why do people sometimes try to “yes the no?”
• What circumstances might make it difficult for people to accept no as an answer.
• What is the neutral no?
• What does it mean that people argue their no backwards?
• What is the danger of not being realistic about saying no?

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Practice makes perfect

Fill in the blank spaces with the correct forms of the words in CAPITAL LETTERS.

Many of us don’t like to say no to a ________ WORK or a boss—for instance, when the boss asks for a ________ TIGHT deadline, or a team member needs a longer one—because we’re worried about damaging the ________ RELATE. That’s because it often feels ________ SYNONYM with confrontation. And whether you are conflict-averse or conflict-ready, your ________ PART may not always handle hearing no the way you’d hoped.

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Fill in the blank spaces with the missing words. Use ONE word per blank space.

________ you think you know why your counterpart is pushing back, you can speak ________ his concern honestly: “You have a lot invested ________ what you’re asking, and ________ looks like I’m personally blocking you.” You can also give a good reason ________ your refusal: “I see my job as balancing valid, but competing, needs. That’s my focus.” If that creates an opening for an argument, it’s OK to have _________ discussion. Saying no shouldn’t ________  a monologue.

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